Wednesday, September 3, 2008

CLARITY

Though not an American, my mother was born in Los Angeles and I feel a kinship with citizens of the United States.

I can be, admittedly, a little shallow and a little cynical. A creature of appetite and imprudence as it says in my bio on the side

I just watched Sarah Palin's speech and wept.

I want to thank America for all you do to keep weaker nations like my own safe from harm.

The line has been drawn.

With McCain and Palin ride the hopes of the Western world.

I have been busy this past while with mundane concerns, but my prayers until November are with America.

I'm going to repost something I did back in March, when Hillary! was still in the race for the donks.

It was tongue in cheek, but the message was serious.

I know a lot of people don't fully square with the cut of McCain's jib, and that's fair.

But there's one thing I believe about him: regardless of his stands on other issues, he will keep you alive so that when the time comes to debate nuances of domestic policy where you disagree with him, you will be above ground to do it.

God bless America and thank you all.


Dear Caliban,

As a conservative Republican, I'm in a quandary. The guy that will probably get the GOP nomination is an insufferable cranky old prick who's so far away from me on most of the issues I really care about that it makes me want to pull my curly hair out by the roots, then move up and pull out the hair on my head.

I can't stand the idea of not voting, but I also can't stand the idea of voting for him. I'm thinking of doing something I've never done before and sitting out.

WTF?

Livid in Louisville


Dear Livid,

I TOTALLY hear where you're coming from. Remember this though: who is your enemy?

In a general election, it can suck that your candidate is a 4 out of 10. But if his opponents are a 2 or even a 1 out of 10 and you don't vote, you vote for them. There are currently about 20 people running for president including Ralph Nader (Ind.) and Cynthia McKinney (Greens- remember her?) and they all get votes, at least from the family members that are still speaking to them.

Like I said, it sucks. BUT-you have to ask yourself what the candidates bring to the dance. IF Obama or Clinton win, you'll get buried in red tape from an expanding bureaucracy as you pay the freight for people who don't feel like working.

Fact: The border will be bad no matter who wins. This is an election about least expectations and that sucks but that's where it is.

You can take this to the bank: Iran is working on getting the Bomb. With the Bush presidency winding down (and for all its faults, he at least scared the fuckers) who will stand up to them? This may be the only relevant long-term question. Protecting the border won't mean Jack if you let Iran get a toehold in, oh, say Venezuela or Nicaragua with their Al-sahab missiles and some heat on the end of them.

If Obama or Clinton win, they will abandon Iraq leaving a gaping hole in US security as they focus on domestic entitlements, leaving the Islamic nutjobs to roam free, re-establish bases in the Middle East, and attack America at home yet again.

How many more people will die? A discovery of uranium in Colombia recently does not bode well for the future.

Obama and Hillary will give you entitlements you might not live to collect.

McCain will keep you alive. You can argue with him till the ends of the earth about other things after that, but you have to be breathing to do it. He, at least, gives you your best shot at that, as piss-poor a choice as it is.

It sucks, but McCain will crawl over broken glass to keep Americans at home and abroad alive. I wish you had a better choice, but there it is.

To paraphrase Churchill:

John McCain is the worst candidate for US president in the world, except for all the others.

Kisses,

Caliban

Monday, July 28, 2008

ABOUT THAT CIVILIAN NATIONAL SECURITY FORCE

Okay, so Obama went to Europe, blah blah blah.

Still, if you look at some of the things he's said on the campaign trail and pair them with what his wife has said, against the German backdrop, it does conjour up images.

He said:

"We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we’ve set. We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded"

She said:

"Barack Obama will require you to work. He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your divisions. That you come out of your isolation, that you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed.”

She didn't say if they would use the security force to make this happen, but...

Didn't they try that whole require-you-to-work-civilian-security-force thing in Germany a few years back?

The Gestapo was originally the Prussian security police and pre-dated the Nazi party. Goehring took it over and went national with it before handing it off to Himmler.

I'm not trying to make an overt Nazi comparison, it's just that when you get something that big set up, run by human beings, it's open to abuse.

Especially if it's ideologically driven.

What began as a run-of-the-mill European security aparatus became, in the hands of someone with broader ambitions, a different entity.

The building process of something that pervasive should consider what can happen if it's badly run. Given the habit of government programs to mutate, it's not an unreasonable concern.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

CRAZY TALK NOT SO CRAZY ANYMORE




Canals on Mars? Fuggetaboutit!


Um...well...maybe not.

NEW DATA PINPOINT MARS' WET AND BALMY PAST

So, maybe Lowell and Schiaparelli and other early observers of the angry planet may have seen the last gasps of Martian surface water.

Given the warming that ended the last Ice Age some 15,000 years ago (Save the Woolly Mammoth!) and recently observed reductions in Martian polar ice caps because of Sunspot activity, maybe they were just calling what they saw.

Now, I know I'M an idiot, but Percival Lowell? Not so much. He was an actual...what's the word? Oh yeah...scientist.

He died in 1916 looking for a planet beyond Neptune. The discovery of Pluto in 1930 proved he was right.

Just saying.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

HUGO'S PAL HAS A NEW TOY, BUT WILL HE SHARE?

Ajad and Crazylegs Chavez are tight and getting tighter.

The new Long Range Shahab 3 Iran tested yesterday (link in headline) has a range of about 2,000 kilometers.

Distance from Caracas to Puerto Rico? 886 kilometers.

Distance from Caracas to Miami? 2152.77 kilometers.

Anyone else notice this?

Anyone?

Friday, July 4, 2008

THE ONLY REFINERY THE DEMS APPROVE OF SHIFTS INTO OVERTIME

As B.O. continues to 'refine' his positions.

From public financing and the Cuban embargo to sitting down with Ajad and NAFTA, the most laughably inexperienced politician to ever seek the free world's number one post continues to step on his dick, but the media don't care.

If he worked as hard at refining oil as he has at 'refining' his various positions, gasoline would be about ten cents a gallon.

Refineries? We already got one!

Good roundup from Newsbusters. Link in headline.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

POLICE COULD USE A HAND

Sixth severed foot washes ashore in British Columbia. Second in three days. Hit the link in the headline for the story.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

AND NOW, A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES

This Friday, intead of Caliban's usual Boob-war posting, he's putting up something for the ladies. Yes, it's wrong beyond calculation.

Please forgive him in advance. This is SO NSFW, Caliban can't begin to describe it. Caliban doesn't go looking, people just send him this kind of thing. It's not his fault.

Posting it? Eh, whatever.

Be kind.

Behold yon video, if ye dare. You have been warned.

video

Oh, and guys? If you've ever wished for a bigger package, be VERY VERY specific

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

WELCOME TO PARADISE ON EARTH!

Okay, you've got 24 miles of Mediterranean seafront with a beautiful, sunny climate and a nearby population of hundreds of millions of people.



Do you:

A) set up a large ecological preserve to provide habitat for local indigenous marine life and plants, generating gainful employment and millions of dollars in eco-tourism revenue to benefit your people?

B) build resorts, marinas and golf courses, generating gainful employment and millions of dollars in luxury tourism revenue to the benefit of your people?

C) land mine the living bejesus out of the place and launch unending rocket attacks at your better armed neighbours who are actually making a go of things?

If you answered C, welcome to the Gaza Strip. Hit the link in the headline for the latest news on the Palestinian Coastguard/Navy.

They have one boat. It's inflatable.

And inland. In storage.

VICTORY IN THE BATTLE AGAINST SEXISM!!11!

Finally.

Click the link in the headline and BEHOLD the product of 4 billion years of evolution:

THE FEMALE URINAL

The 'Peeandgo' is in fact a slightly updated version of the squat toilets found in Asia.

Having experienced a state-of-the-art, ultra-suave stand up Eurocrapper at a train station in Toulouse, ladies you're not missing much.

Rather go in my pants if it came to it.

Friday, June 6, 2008

AND THEN WE ARE ALL ON TRIAL

In a crowded subterranean courtroom about the size of a two car garage, arguments raged this week between the broad founding principles of western secular civilization and the forces aimed at its undoing.

For five days, Mark Steyn and Maclean's Magazine have been under quasi-judicial scrutiny for a column published a year or two back that the Council on Islamic American Relations (Canada) chose as a battleground in their ongoing efforts to silence any opinion they disagree with.

I dropped by this morning. It was a hot ticket and a small venue and I didn't expect to get in. The proceedings are being well documented by the National Post's Andrew Coyne (hit the link in the headline for the latest).

I went more to see who was there. It was a mixed bag: men and women, young and old, all shapes sizes and hues.

At the 10:30 break, like the stateroom scene in the Marx Brothers 'Night at the Opera', the door opened and everyone spilled out into the large corridor. Steyn was in great form- jovial and engaging, signing a few autographs before huddling with his team, while the plaintiffs huddled at a different end of the hallway. Andrew Coyne looked a little weary and if you read his blog about the week, you'll know why.

Considering what was at stake, there was remarkably little media present. The MSM has been very slow to pick up on this and I can't for the life of me understand why.

Perhaps it's function of their overall state of denial as their familiar world continues to unravel. Local media is among the most somnolent on the issue and may well look back one day and ask themselves 'why didn't we have someone there?'.

In a forum where rules of evidence, case law and even truth are not relevant to the proceedings, to let the story slide by unremarked is journalistic malpractice and further enables the cause of the plaintiffs.

Across the hall from Courtroom 105, the scene of the tribunal, was an office for a native outreach service with a sign on the door advertising an upcoming 'talking circle'. I don't think it could hold a candle to the circles talked this week in that tiny room.

It's so very odd. Canada is a polite, peaceful place where strangers are welcomed and accommodated. Muslims, particularly, have had a very easy ride in the court of public opinion. Mosques are springing up, without a quibble, across the country. In suburban Toronto, a new subdivision 'Peace Village' is being built by and for followers of Islam. All the houses face Mecca and the toilets are aligned to avoid offense. There has been no outcry, nor need there be.

In fact, the very existence of the tribunal is evidence that Canadians have enshrined their desire not to offend into this ludicrous law.

Yet the self-appointed guardians of Islamic interests scour the landscape looking for fuel to justify their very existence. If you aren't under threat, you don't need guardians.

When 9/11 happened, politicians of all stripes rushed to express solidarity with Islamic Canadians in anticipation of a backlash that never came.

Radical Muslims in Ontario plotted to blow up parliament and behead the prime minister. Again, dire warnings of a backlash that, again, never came.

There was some tut-tutting when the CBC, our left-wing national broadcaster, aired the sitcom 'Little Mosque on the Prairie', but most of the country took it all in stride.

Few countries have been as welcoming and accommodating to Muslim immigrants and the vast majority have settled in and got along. Should they be grateful? Perhaps. Those who left homelands behind to find a better life for them and their families probably are.

But as radical global Islam flexes its muscles, sinews bulge here as well.

Such is the makeup of this unaccountable body that I don't anticipate a victory for the defendants. There are also five Canadian bloggers in line for similar treatment.

If this case goes to the plaintiffs, things look grim for the five.

And then we are all on trial.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

BOOB WAR- EARLY EDITION

I'm going to try and drop by the Mark Steyn inquisition tomorrow for the verdict (written before the inquiry began no doubt) so I'm calling Boob War early. NSFW!!

Behold:


video

HELPFUL GERMANS ADD MISSING ELEMENT OF CRAP-YOUR-PANTS TERROR TO WATERPARK EXPERIENCE

Just in case you hadn't heard from the Germans for a while and were a little concerned, worry no more! Our Teutonic techno-thinkers have been analysing teh 'fun' and come up with some design enhancements.

Hit the link in the headline.

Monday, May 26, 2008

THERE IS HOPE- A TRUE STORY

Sometimes I worry about what the hell is going to happen when the current crop of children, raised almost exclusively in hydroponic sensory isolation, reach adulthood.

Then I see something that gives me hope.

A while back on a street near my house, two kids were on their bikes, facing each other from a distance. They each wore hockey helmets and catcher's chest pads, were holding hockey sticks (butt end out) with hockey gloves stuck on the end and were preparing to charge each other.

They were JOUSTING.

I was relatively sober and am not making this up.

It's the kind of thing that gives me hope. Even with all the life-endangering crazy crap we used to do as kids, none of us thought of that.

To make things even sweeter, there was an observer/referee who, one arm in a sling, had obviously been a combatant before.

I wish I was 12 again.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

AFRICA ON VERGE OF ANARCHY- UN SPRINGS INTO ACTION TO INVESTIGATE...THE USA

JUST IN TIME FOR THE FALL ELECTION CAMPAIGN!

I know, picking on the UN Human Rights council is like shooting fish in a barrel. Really, really retarded fish.

Nile Gardiner has a great post at NRO on the UNHRC's current investigation of 'Racism, racial discrimination, xenophobia and related intolerance' in the US of A.

Beats going to scary third world places and actually helping people I guess. Hit the link in the headline.

Friday, May 16, 2008

BOOB WAR 2.0

It's on. Caliban is going for quan'titty' today.

video

Over to you Rosetta.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

ENFORCING LAW NOW A RIGHT WING PLOT

"Italian police announced on Thursday the arrest of hundreds of suspected illegal immigrants in a sign of the new right-wing government's determination to clamp down."

Hit the link in the headline. I know, it's Reuters, but still. I've traveled a bit in Italy and the illegals are a big problem there. The story goes on about concerns of 'rising xenophobia' and 'migrant misery'.

Drivel.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

THE BLOGGERS COOKBOOK- DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY EDITION

OBAMA SALAD

This simple salad is ideal for summer patio dining and great with grilled meat. The arugula keeps it bitter and the tomatoes add suspicious red undertones.

Ingredients:

3 ripe tomatoes
1 cup arugula, rinsed
1 tbsp coarse salt
1/8 cup extra virgin olive oil

Cut tomatoes into thick slices. Toss in a bowl with arugula and salt. Plate and drizzle with olive oil.

Serve with CRACKERS. Hit the link for a suggestion.

TRAITOR

This makes me sick.

Former CBC Editor in Chief takes charge of Al Jazeera's English language network.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation has always been far to the left, in ways those unfamuiliar with it wouldn't believe.

But this.

I'm speechless. Hit the link in the headline if you can stand it.

Monday, May 12, 2008

NEW DEMOCRAT VOTER DEMOGRAPHIC IDENTIFIED

I PREDICT:

Whoever gets to them first will CLINCH the nomination.

Glenn Greenwald could not be reached for comment.

Hit the link and ponder the possibilities.

NEW KINETIC VEHICLE PROTOTYPE UNVEILED

Sure, it's just a prototype, but there are ZERO emissions.

No doubt it will soon be available in a full scale model.

Then...

Mandatory.

Hit the link in the headline to see your carbon-footloose future.

Kiss your sorry ass goodbye.

MAY 2008: NOW OFFICIALLY THE NICEST OCTOBER ON RECORD

It's been cold. It's been wet. Cold. And. Wet.

I blame George Bush.

Hit the link in the headline for the terrible toll Global Warming has taken in these here parts.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

BEST STAG PRANK EVER?

A freind of a friend went on a stag recently. They started in London, then went for an extended weekend in Europe. The partygoers 'rented' a midget for the weekend, dressed him up as a Smurf, and handcuffed him to the groom. For several days, the two had to do everything together. Everything.

Behold:


Friday, May 9, 2008

THE BOOBWAR NUCLEAR OPTION

Wanted to save this for last, but having trouble posting from different computer. Hit the link in the headline. Watch and shudder. There is evil here. REALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!11!

Good thing is, a couple of reporters get more than they bargained for.

Top this Rosetta, if you CAN.

MY NOMINEE FOR THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

Ah the sweet, sweet irony.

The Boob War begins with a video of Rodney Carrington's plan for world peace. Hit the link in the headline and watch the video. Not safe for work.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

WHODUNNIT- OLD MEDIA DEATH: MURDER OR SUICIDE?

Big media had it all: the money, the sources, the technology and the audience. How could the pros get their pants whipped off by ‘an army of Davids’ (to use Glenn Reynolds’ evocative book title)?

Short answer: greed, arrogance and fear.


This is a longish post, but I’ve been chewing on it for a while, so bear with me.

First, some background: I’ve worked in a variety of capacities at magazines and newspapers, large and small, across Canada for over 25 years. Currently work for a ‘small’ paper owned by a ‘large’ organization, hence the pseudonym.

For decades, old media made a LOT of money. Truth was, they had to. To banks and investors, newspapers and broadcast outlets ran unconventional businesses. There weren’t a lot of hard assets for security and revenue was almost exclusively derived from advertising. Banks and investors demanded, and generally got (from the better-run outfits) investment returns of between 15-20%.

But risks were high. Advertising revenues depended on reader/listener/viewership and that depended on three things: ‘relevance’, ‘credibility’ and ‘market reach’─in short, the collective goodwill of the audience and advertisers they served.. It could be gone in a heartbeat.

I worked for one paper with a track record of close to half a century in a small town. A couple of years after I left they published a story highlighting the laziness and greed of local merchants. As it happens, they were right, but advertiser outrage drove business to the newer competitors. One month after the story appeared, they closed their doors.

That was a judgement call that went bad, but it illustrates the tenuous nature of media profitability.

Towards the end of the 20th Century, successful media companies with their high returns became attractive to a class of investors who leveraged purchases, applied the benefits organizational efficiencies, and managed to both service increasing debt loads and crank out profits.

At around the same time, the media tail began to wag the audience dog. The Cold War, Vietnam and Watergate allowed a new type of iconoclastic journalism to craft an evolving narrative of cover-ups and conspiracies that had nothing to do with the ‘truth’ and everything to do with injecting increasing paranoia in the audience, culminating in Walter Cronkite’s pronouncement that the Vietnam War was unwinnable.

The truth was that the Tet Offensive Cronkite witnessed was a huge defeat for the enemy, but that didn’t matter.

Why? Because it fit the evolving narrative and was VERY good for the media’s bottom line. A frightened audience was desperate for information on the latest crisis of the day and news consumption skyrocketed.

The media’s own success created an environment where investments in media became increasingly attractive. If you couldn’t buy in, you started your own.

Journalistic arrogance reached new heights as reporters elevated themselves to the position of high priests of the American First Amendment and guardians of ‘the people’s right to know.’ Media everywhere followed suit.

It didn’t matter if they got stories wrong, which they did all the time in an effort to out-scoop each other and hold or increase audience numbers. Their ‘greater truth’ was bigger than any inconvenient actual facts on the ground and the profits rolled in.

With the resulting explosion of media outlets and the advent of cable, new sources of information began to appear and the leaking began. Audiences and advertisers alike were presented with a cornucopia of options that increasingly allowed them to select their information providers based on individual interest or specific marketing goals.

At the same time, media profitability and mergers and acquisitions continued, usually with escalating debt-loads. Nobody looked much beyond the next quarter. Bottom-line performance became increasingly paramount as media companies struggled to satisfy both their shareholders and the banks.

Dismissed as a fad at first, cable operations became absorbed into traditional media powerhouses to try to manage the changing landscape and keep a piece of the action. Those that couldn’t buy in started their own cable divisions.

It all limped along.

The lines between news and entertainment began to blur as desperation for audience share grew. Want to find the roots of ‘Eating Horse-colon with the Stars’? They lie here. The advertising rates had to be at least maintained, if not increased, to pay for the decisions and the debt of head offices.

Risks increased and corporate decision-making became increasingly reactive. Big media was now as bureaucratic as big government and a mind-set evolved: it was better to do nothing than do the wrong thing.

Then, the Internet. A bunch of guys at home in their pajamas. The timing couldn’t have been worse for the big boys─or better for the new kids.

Having painted themselves into financial corners with massive borrowing, old media compounded their woes by falling in love with their new ‘elevated’ status and getting confused about their own core business.

Their fundamental product, information, was a natural fit for the Internet but they didn’t see it. The messengers decided they were more important than the message. Online information delivery didn’t need telegenic presenters or sonorous announcers. How could the show possibly go on without them?

Making a successful online transition required a single simple step away from their conventional delivery platform. Their core product remained the same, it was just one more delivery option. All they had to do was take off their TV/radio/Newspaper hats and add one more stream.

Making a buck would come with time as new applications and ideas evolved, but the prospect of giving away something they produced at such a high (self-inflicted) cost caused endless dithering.

They couldn’t move fast enough. The in-house bureaucrats controlled the speed and, as noted, they’d rather do nothing than do the wrong thing.

Except in this case, nothing was exactly the wrong thing to do.

Hobbled by greed and blinded by arrogance, fear of losing, rather than determination to win, became the media’s defining emotional environment.

Half-hearted attempts to make the new media fit the old model (fire-walls, subscription fees, teaser pieces) failed, one after another, as information seekers simply went elsewhere.

Taking a page out of the established media playbook, AOL bought Time/Warner in 2000 in (at the time) the largest corporate deal in history. It was a good move for both sides, giving AOL tons of content and Time/Warner (at the time) the world’s number-one online service provider.

Hardcore traditionalists were outraged that the upstarts had captured their sacred institutions and worked hard internally against change.

When the tech bubble burst, the old guard pointed fingers: ‘See? See? It’s just a fad’. Fear crept in as AOL’s value began to drop. The ‘pros’ regained control of the boardroom and returned to established old media practices.

As a result, AOL’s value eventually declined to about $20 billion, its subscriber base reduced by two-thirds to just over 10 million and its effective market share shrank from about 60% of the online service market in 2000 (according to Stan Liebowitz and Stephen E. Margolis in the September 11, 2000 Wall Street Journal) to a mere 5.5% in 2006 (according to Nielsen/Netratings). Analysts blamed ‘an outdated business model’.

AOL Time/Warner may have had it and lost it. We’ll never know.

Clinging to their privileges, old media became increasingly shrill in both their attacks on new media and in their general coverage of news. Talk of recession is rampant in mainstream news, largely because, for them, the economy is truly worsening and unlikely to ever return to vigor.

The Minneapolis Star Tribune is on the brink of bankruptcy and at the New York Times, Mr. Sulzberger is riding the old gray mare all the way to the glue factory. At the Davos conference a few years back he said he didn’t know if they’d still be producing a print product in five years time. He may have been more correct than he knew, but not for the same reasons.

I have spent several fruitless years trying to convince our command structure that we have the tools and the people to make the shift, but to no avail. Our ‘new’ website, delivered from on high, has lots of great content but the format and access points are impenetrable and there is no ‘wow’ factor. Top down applications are meaningless in a bottom-up world.

The online formula is identify, adopt, test, modify and repeat. Better to risk a thousand ideas and let the best rise to the top than apply a mediocre, committee-driven ‘solution’ that fits ‘an outdated business model’.

Traditional media are on their knees now. The coming of the Grid, with its increased speed, power and potential for undreamed-of applications, will likely be the coup de grace.

Friday, April 25, 2008

IT'S ALL OVER

First, female generated sperm, now THIS.

It's all coming to an end, boys. Soon it will be all heavy-lifting-and-jar-opening, all the time.

When they come up with a robot that drinks large and tips big in the bars, we will have no further purpose.

My plan? Go out in a hail of testosterone induced madness.

I'll be semi-conscious with drink, pursuing lowest-common-denominator 'friendship' if you need me.

Which you no longer do, apparently.

Oh, and you can vacuum your own damn carpet, thanks for asking honey.

Hit the link in the damn headline and weep.

Weep for Caliban.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

BREAKING

NATIVE OWNED BORDER STATE CASINOS LINKED TO TERRORIST FUNDING


Electronic skimming going to...

...wait for it...

PAKISTAN!

From a source I trust on the regulatory side.

More soon.

Developing...as they say

Friday, April 18, 2008

Egypt cuts fuel supplies to Gaza, UN condemns Israel

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!11!

In a communique issued April 15 titled:

"UN agencies call on Israel to immediately resume full fuel shipments to Gaza"

Our friends at the UN spoke thusly:

“The current absence of fuel at petrol stations has meant that normal transportation has ceased,” the agencies said. “Many students have been unable to get to school, and many health professionals have been unable to get to hospitals and clinics. There have been difficulties transporting essential items such as food throughout Gaza.”


Two days later word comes from The Austrialian, via the World News Network (hit the link in the headline) that Egypt has done the same:

EGYPT has shut off fuel supplies to the Sinai Desert south of Gaza to deter Hamas from again blowing up the border wall and allowing a mass infiltration of Palestinians seeking supplies.


We await the condemnation.

Still waiting.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Also- Richard Warman is a dick, pass it on

So, uber Canadian human rights turd-sniper Richard Warman is suing some Canadian bloggers.

In a speech he delivered in 2005 to the Anti-Racist Action group, known for their violent tactics, he explained his 'Maximum Disruption' methodology:

The ‘maximum disruption’ part comes in because wherever I think it will be most helpful, or even if I just feel it will be the most fun, I strongly believe in hitting the neo-nazis on as many of these fronts as possible either at the same time or one after the other. I say this because it keeps them off-balance and forces them to respond to things that focus their energies on defending themselves…”

The link is to a web site giving details on this cruel and unusual person. Hit the link in the headline and pass it on.

Any of us could be next.


Update:

Here's a graphic representation of the number of 'human rights' complaints filed by this freak.


For the kitchen psycho

This handy little accessory is a must for all the 'frustrated' chefs out there. Pretend it's your favorite co-worker!

Hit the link in the headline.

Problem outlines solution

Sooo...the Mookster might want to re-think his PR strategy. One of his peeps gets his allah-gram and Al Sadr gets all suggesty.

Quoth he:

"The occupiers will not rest in our land as long as I am alive."

Um, is it just me, or does this not suggest an easy-bake recipe for 'rest'?

Am I missing something?

h/t Ace

Not sure if this is cool, stupid, or cool-stupid

Not your grandfather's Google Earth.

I think this could get weird.

Hit the headline for the link.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Um...is Ace a tech for Dell?

Got in himmel.

Dell puts the 'LAP' in laptop.

I know what you're thinking, and no, Caliban was not involved in this.

Hit the headline for the sorry, sorry story.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Stand out from the crowd!

Apocalypse coming and nothing to wear?

How about a designer gas mask?

That way the zombie army can figure out who's too stupid to live and eat them first. I think Ted Turner already has one.

It's what all the cool kids are wearing.

Hit the headline for the link.

Woe to us all.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Chinese takeaway

I'm not an economic doom-and-gloomer, but this is somewhat troubling.

After having rated China's GDP at close to $9 trillion in 2005(second only to the US), the World Bank had to revise things after they did the...what's it called again? Oh yeah...math.

As a result, one quiet mid-December day in 2007, about 40% of the value of China's economy was written off the books.

Steve Maich has an interesting piece in Macleans. Hit the headline for the link.

Sample:

The problem was, the World Bank's estimates were based on a study of Chinese prices that was 20 years old, and when Chinese authorities finally released updated figures late last year, the bank's estimates were wildly off the mark. When they re-crunched the numbers, it turned out China's economy was closer to US$5.3 trillion. On a per capita basis, that works out to just over US$4,000 per head, compared to US$41,674 in America. That one little accounting change meant there are as many as 91 million more people living in desperate poverty in China than previously believed.

Now some might say that it's just on paper, but paper can cover a lot of cracks, like those 90 or so million more people living in poverty. Recent unrest in Tibet and Western China may find unrelated fuel elsewhere.

In time, the market will take care of it, but time may be running out for China. Officially inflation is at 10%, but surging demand and scarce resources are applying upward pressure.

Then there's rice.

According to a story in the Sydney Morning Herald on April 7, the price of rice has doubled in the past year and quintupled since 2001.

It's probably nothing. Do they eat much rice over there?

Tribes lost

Former National Chief of Canada's Assembly of First Nations, David Ahenakew, has been invited to rejoin the Federation of Saskatchewan Indian Nations (FISN).

In extending the invitation, FISN head Chief Lawrence Joseph said:

"He's apologized, he's won an appeal, he's been stripped of everything he had, including an opportunity to make a living, and he has not repeated that mistake in over five years. Let's be reasonable," Mr. Joseph said.

Mr. Ahenakew, a former member of the Order of Canada, became a pariah when comments he made to a local reporter in December 2002, following a speech he gave at an FISN gathering, became public.

Quoth he:

The Jews damn near owned all of Germany prior to the war. ... That's how Hitler came in. He was going to make damn sure that the Jews didn't take over Germany or Europe. That's why he fried six million of those guys, you know. Jews would have owned the goddamned world. And look what they're doing. They're killing people in Arab countries.

In 2005 he was convicted of 'willfully promoting hatred' and fined $1000, but the conviction was overturned on appeal a year later.

One wonders how Mr. Joseph would have felt regarding someone making similar remarks about native North Americans.

Showing more wisdom than the FISN, Mr. Ahenakew declined the offer.

Hit the link in the headline to read it all.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Number 1 earliest human activity in North America?

Number 2!

Hit the link in the headline for a revealing look at the activities of our ancestors.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Inaction in action

Great news from the IAEA! Success!

During this month´s Board of Governors meeting, several IAEA Member States noted the success of the Integrated Regulatory Review Service programme (IRRS), a comprehensive instrument that assesses a State´s safety practices regarding nuclear installations, radiation, waste, transport, emergency preparedness and security.

CIA chief Michael Hayden, however, sees less reason to celebrate. Hit the headline for the link.

His baloney has no middle name

As Obama's speeches, old friends and old-style Chicago politicking begin to see daylight, his unravelling (Unbamaling?) is gaining momentum.

Joan of Tuzla isn't faring any better.

Rezko`s on trial and Hsu won`t be far behind.

With the race too close to call, the establishment candidate is poised to do absolutely anything to win- and that`s just in Zimbabwe.

Wait till Denver in August.

Meanwhile in western China, it`s Molotov Cocktail hour. Hit the link in the headline for the story.

Let's talk to them, shall we?

Cock ring broken

"To my knowledge, this is the biggest in the Northwest."

Cock FIGHTING ring that is. See what I did there? Trapped you with your own filthy thoughts. Click on the headline for the story.

You all disgust me.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Blogger's Cookbook II

Iceberg Salad

Holy crap is this good! And simple? Don't get me started! The dressing is powerful and the sturdy Iceberg lettuce is robust enough structurally to take the hit.

If you're making dinner for the first time for a new or potential love interest, this is slam dunk material. Trust your Uncle Caliban.

The excellent dressing recipe is from chef Karen Barnaby at the Fish House Restaurant in Vancouver.

Ingredients:

Dressing

4 oz. blue, Roquefort or Gorgonzola cheese
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tbsp. red wine vinegar
salt and pepper to taste

Salad:

1 head Iceberg lettuce

Prepare the dressing: Mix sour cream, mayonnaise, vinegar and garlic in a bowl. Add crumbled cheese and stir. Check for taste and add salt and pepper as necessary. Refrigerate (will keep for up to one week).

Prepare the salad: Remove core from lettuce. Strip off outer leaves. Quarter lettuce into wedges (1 per serving), top with dressing and serve.

Slam dunk? Dunk slammed.

You're welcome.

YAY!! I'm officially a Moron !!

Special thanks to Conservative Belle for all the help. I've joined the Ace of Spades Moronosphere! Members listed in blogroll at side. If you've never been, check them out. Many good funnies, biting observations and cool pics.

Speaking of humanity at its best, I would like to dedicate a video I made to my fellow morons.

There's good guys, bad guys, stupid guys and more. Hit the link in the headline.

Hope you enjoy.

Kisses to you all,

Caliban

Earth decade celebrated with annual spring ritual


If you turned your power off for an hour yesterday, you've got a long way to go to beat Lil' Kim, lovable environut with world's smallest carbon footprint.

The neighbours are celebrating (via the Boston Globe):

SEOUL - A grim rite of spring in Northeast Asia is the calculation of how many North Koreans could starve before the fall harvest - and what the neighbors are willing to do about it.

This year, though, the famine bailout season is more urgent, more complicated, and more politically explosive than at any time since the mid-1990s, when millions starved behind North Korea's closed borders.

Severe crop failure in the North, surging global prices for food, and tougher behavior by donors, particularly South Korea and China, are putting unaccustomed pressure on Kim Jong Il's dysfunctional communist state.


Good thing they don't have any nuclear weapons or missles.

Hit the link in the headline to read it all.

Enemy identified

At the poorly-attended annual conference of the Arab League in Damascus this weekend, Lybian president Muammar Ghaddafi hit the nail on the head.

When asked about efforts to begin an Arab joint nuclear program, he replied:

"How can we do that? We hate each other, we wish ill of each other and our intelligence services conspire against each other. We are our own enemy."

I was going to link to the story, but it's Al Jazeera. So fuck em.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dear Caliban

Dear Caliban,

As a conservative Republican, I'm in a quandary. The guy that will probably get the GOP nomination is an insufferable cranky old prick who's so far away from me on most of the issues I really care about that it makes me want to pull my curly hair out by the roots, then move up and pull out the hair on my head.

I can't stand the idea of not voting, but I also can't stand the idea of voting for him. I'm thinking of doing something I've never done before and sitting out.

WTF?

Livid in Louisville


Dear Livid,

I TOTALLY hear where you're coming from. Remember this though: who is your enemy?

In a general election, it can suck that your candidate is a 4 out of 10. But if his opponents are a 2 or even a 1 out of 10 and you don't vote, you vote for them. There are currently about 20 people running for president including Ralph Nader (Ind.) and Cynthia McKinney (Greens- remember her?) and they all get votes, at least from the family members that are still speaking to them.

Like I said, it sucks. BUT-you have to ask yourself what the candidates bring to the dance. IF Obama or Clinton win, you'll get buried in red tape from an expanding bureaucracy as you pay the freight for people who don't feel like working.

Fact: The border will be bad no matter who wins. This is an election about least expectations and that sucks but that's where it is.

You can take this to the bank: Iran is working on getting the Bomb. With the Bush presidency winding down (and for all its faults, he at least scared the fuckers) who will stand up to them? This may be the only relevant long-term question. Protecting the border won't mean Jack if you let Iran get a toehold in, oh, say Venezuela or Nicaragua with their Al-sahab missiles and some heat on the end of them.

If Obama or Clinton win, they will abandon Iraq leaving a gaping hole in US security as they focus on domestic entitlements, leaving the Islamic nutjobs to roam free, re-establish bases in the Middle East, and attack America at home yet again.

How many more people will die? A discovery of uranium in Colombia recently does not bode well for the future.

Obama and Hillary will give you entitlements you might not live to collect. McCain will keep you alive. You can argue with him till the ends of the earth about other things after that, but you have to be breathing to do it. He, at least, gives you your best shot at that, as piss-poor a choice as it is.

It sucks, but McCain will crawl over broken glass to keep Americans at home and abroad alive. I wish you had a better choice, but there it is.

To paraphrase Churchill:

John McCain is the worst candidate for US president in the world, except for all the others.

Kisses,

Caliban

The Blogger's Cookbook I

Suppose for a moment that your schedule has cleared and you can blog away to your heart's content. As you prepare to settle down for hours at the keyboard, remember one thing: You must eat to maintain consciousness.

Here is a recipe I threw together that has a number of benefits:

-It's fast
-It's inexpensive
-Works on ovens, hot plates, open fires, and over flaming corpses.
-Makes more than one serving
-Actually good for you
-Can be grazed while you blog
-It's exotic. If someone else has some they will say 'Hey, cool! What is it?' Which allows you to make up whatever story you like about...say, an Ashram, your assault on Everest, or the Dalai Lama (don't get me started on the f-in Dalai Lama).
-Point is, you can customize the recipe and it serves as a focal point for storytelling in person or online, and isn't that a wonderful thing?
-You can even tell the truth!

SHIN HUA SOUP

Shopping list:

You will need-

1 head bok choy or 1/4 cabbage
3 boneless chicken thighs, skin on
12 oz. can chicken stock
12 oz. can Romano or other beans
6 oz. dry chow mien noodles
1 cup frozen vegetables
1 tbsp. hot sauce
2 tbsp. curry powder
1 tbsp. dark soy sauce
2 tbs. olive/peanut oil

(+ anything else you feel like tossing in.)

Here's what I do:

1. Check you blog for comments. There are none.

2. Go to FARK. See what's up.

3. Windows Vista crashes system.

4. Re-boot.

5. While you are waiting, open chicken stock and pour into medium-large saucepan. Set temperature at medium-high.

6. Shred bok choy/cabbage with knife, food processor, blender or fingers

7. Add to chicken stock with frozen vegetables. Turn temperature to medium and simmer.

8. Windows Vista is flashing an unrecognizable screen.

9. Re-reboot.

10. Heat oil in small frying pan (medium high heat) and put in chicken thighs skin down. Saute for 3 minutes a side then put aside to rest- 5 mins.

11. Add beans to stock/bok choy mix. Put in curry powder and hot sauce. Cover and simmer.

12. Your password has been corrupted. Email help desk.

13. Add chow mien noodles to stock/bean mixture. Cover and simmer for 5 minutes.

14. Help desk unavailable.

15. Slice chicken thighs into 1/4 inch strips. Add to stock.

16. Simmer 5 minutes.

17. Check computer. You're screwed.

18. Serve soup in large bowl with shot of soy sauce on top.

19. Turn on TV.

20. Watch Matlock.

See? Easy.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dear Caliban

Dear Caliban,

As a Woman of Gender, I can only support one candidate for the Democrat party nomination. To do otherwise would be to betray my birthright of suffering and oppression at the hands of the patriarchy. My candidate understands my yearnings, my angsts, my entitlements. I was talking to Deb the other day about this and she said that in the end the right answer is no less right for us regardless of who can grasp it. We were at the cutest little bistro and the waiter, though I'm sure he was gay, I swear he was coming on to me! No, really! I'm pretty sure he wasn't just angling for the tip. I mean, just between us, he could have given me the tip and the whole damn thing IF you know what I mean.

Yours,

Gyn but Not Forgotten
Sanfran

PS- What do you think?



Dear Gyn,

Huh? What? Oh, yes dear. The pink one. Get the pink sweater.

Kisses,

Caliban

Monday, March 24, 2008

Mutliculturalism explained, Canadian edition

Sweet Jesus on rye. Forgive me, for I have sinned. TOTALLY NSFW!11! Put down your liquids, hit the link in the title and BEHOLD. I need to go get somebody's dog to lick my scrotum so I can feel CLEAN again.

Wouldn't you simply DIE without Mullah?

Sooo,

The brave 'Militant' dirtbags who kidnapped the Austrian tourists in response to 'western cooperation with Israel' have extended their deadline in a 'show of generosity'.

This, of course, is '100% bullshit'.

I'll stop associating Islam with terror when the whackjobs stop associating terror with Islam.

One of the best explanations for 'Islamic resistance' I've ever read was delivered by Dr. Tawfik Hamid during a recent speech at Pepperdine University.

He calls bullshit too.

Click on the headline for the link.

h/t: The Big Picture

Dear Caliban

Dear Caliban,

My preferred candidate for Democrat presidential nominee keeps stepping on HIS (racially neutral, non-gender-specific) dick in various speeches.

Question: What am I to make of this? Is HIS divinty somehow compromised?

Yours,

Swooning in St. Louis


Dear Swoon,

Worry not.

Your candidate is merely a complete greenhorn with no real understanding of the federal executive nomination process. Unlike other experienced candidates, he spends no money on focus groups to test his ideas with the electorate, relying instead on a leg-thrilled media to get his message out.

If the response is negative, he quickly changes the message to suit the response. His grandmother may not have taught him 'this', but, as he apparently plans to do with typical white people everywhere, he has learned her 'it'.

Kisses,

Caliban

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Great News- inflation holds steady*

(*adjusted for inflation)

So...like...the core inflation rate (currently 2.4%) is calculated without including categories subject to frequent fluctuations, like fuel and food. Since March of 2005 the price of oil has gone up 90%, real estate has gone up an average of about 35% (I know, it's sliding NOW), the price of wheat has tripled in the past year and flour has doubled in the last couple of months. So, as long as you don't need to eat, move about or live someplace, you're laughing, right?

Right?

That explains everything

Any of my ex-wives could have told them this.

h/t Hot Air