Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Blogger's Cookbook II

Iceberg Salad

Holy crap is this good! And simple? Don't get me started! The dressing is powerful and the sturdy Iceberg lettuce is robust enough structurally to take the hit.

If you're making dinner for the first time for a new or potential love interest, this is slam dunk material. Trust your Uncle Caliban.

The excellent dressing recipe is from chef Karen Barnaby at the Fish House Restaurant in Vancouver.



4 oz. blue, Roquefort or Gorgonzola cheese
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tbsp. red wine vinegar
salt and pepper to taste


1 head Iceberg lettuce

Prepare the dressing: Mix sour cream, mayonnaise, vinegar and garlic in a bowl. Add crumbled cheese and stir. Check for taste and add salt and pepper as necessary. Refrigerate (will keep for up to one week).

Prepare the salad: Remove core from lettuce. Strip off outer leaves. Quarter lettuce into wedges (1 per serving), top with dressing and serve.

Slam dunk? Dunk slammed.

You're welcome.

YAY!! I'm officially a Moron !!

Special thanks to Conservative Belle for all the help. I've joined the Ace of Spades Moronosphere! Members listed in blogroll at side. If you've never been, check them out. Many good funnies, biting observations and cool pics.

Speaking of humanity at its best, I would like to dedicate a video I made to my fellow morons.

There's good guys, bad guys, stupid guys and more. Hit the link in the headline.

Hope you enjoy.

Kisses to you all,


Earth decade celebrated with annual spring ritual

If you turned your power off for an hour yesterday, you've got a long way to go to beat Lil' Kim, lovable environut with world's smallest carbon footprint.

The neighbours are celebrating (via the Boston Globe):

SEOUL - A grim rite of spring in Northeast Asia is the calculation of how many North Koreans could starve before the fall harvest - and what the neighbors are willing to do about it.

This year, though, the famine bailout season is more urgent, more complicated, and more politically explosive than at any time since the mid-1990s, when millions starved behind North Korea's closed borders.

Severe crop failure in the North, surging global prices for food, and tougher behavior by donors, particularly South Korea and China, are putting unaccustomed pressure on Kim Jong Il's dysfunctional communist state.

Good thing they don't have any nuclear weapons or missles.

Hit the link in the headline to read it all.

Enemy identified

At the poorly-attended annual conference of the Arab League in Damascus this weekend, Lybian president Muammar Ghaddafi hit the nail on the head.

When asked about efforts to begin an Arab joint nuclear program, he replied:

"How can we do that? We hate each other, we wish ill of each other and our intelligence services conspire against each other. We are our own enemy."

I was going to link to the story, but it's Al Jazeera. So fuck em.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Dear Caliban

Dear Caliban,

As a conservative Republican, I'm in a quandary. The guy that will probably get the GOP nomination is an insufferable cranky old prick who's so far away from me on most of the issues I really care about that it makes me want to pull my curly hair out by the roots, then move up and pull out the hair on my head.

I can't stand the idea of not voting, but I also can't stand the idea of voting for him. I'm thinking of doing something I've never done before and sitting out.


Livid in Louisville

Dear Livid,

I TOTALLY hear where you're coming from. Remember this though: who is your enemy?

In a general election, it can suck that your candidate is a 4 out of 10. But if his opponents are a 2 or even a 1 out of 10 and you don't vote, you vote for them. There are currently about 20 people running for president including Ralph Nader (Ind.) and Cynthia McKinney (Greens- remember her?) and they all get votes, at least from the family members that are still speaking to them.

Like I said, it sucks. BUT-you have to ask yourself what the candidates bring to the dance. IF Obama or Clinton win, you'll get buried in red tape from an expanding bureaucracy as you pay the freight for people who don't feel like working.

Fact: The border will be bad no matter who wins. This is an election about least expectations and that sucks but that's where it is.

You can take this to the bank: Iran is working on getting the Bomb. With the Bush presidency winding down (and for all its faults, he at least scared the fuckers) who will stand up to them? This may be the only relevant long-term question. Protecting the border won't mean Jack if you let Iran get a toehold in, oh, say Venezuela or Nicaragua with their Al-sahab missiles and some heat on the end of them.

If Obama or Clinton win, they will abandon Iraq leaving a gaping hole in US security as they focus on domestic entitlements, leaving the Islamic nutjobs to roam free, re-establish bases in the Middle East, and attack America at home yet again.

How many more people will die? A discovery of uranium in Colombia recently does not bode well for the future.

Obama and Hillary will give you entitlements you might not live to collect. McCain will keep you alive. You can argue with him till the ends of the earth about other things after that, but you have to be breathing to do it. He, at least, gives you your best shot at that, as piss-poor a choice as it is.

It sucks, but McCain will crawl over broken glass to keep Americans at home and abroad alive. I wish you had a better choice, but there it is.

To paraphrase Churchill:

John McCain is the worst candidate for US president in the world, except for all the others.



The Blogger's Cookbook I

Suppose for a moment that your schedule has cleared and you can blog away to your heart's content. As you prepare to settle down for hours at the keyboard, remember one thing: You must eat to maintain consciousness.

Here is a recipe I threw together that has a number of benefits:

-It's fast
-It's inexpensive
-Works on ovens, hot plates, open fires, and over flaming corpses.
-Makes more than one serving
-Actually good for you
-Can be grazed while you blog
-It's exotic. If someone else has some they will say 'Hey, cool! What is it?' Which allows you to make up whatever story you like about...say, an Ashram, your assault on Everest, or the Dalai Lama (don't get me started on the f-in Dalai Lama).
-Point is, you can customize the recipe and it serves as a focal point for storytelling in person or online, and isn't that a wonderful thing?
-You can even tell the truth!


Shopping list:

You will need-

1 head bok choy or 1/4 cabbage
3 boneless chicken thighs, skin on
12 oz. can chicken stock
12 oz. can Romano or other beans
6 oz. dry chow mien noodles
1 cup frozen vegetables
1 tbsp. hot sauce
2 tbsp. curry powder
1 tbsp. dark soy sauce
2 tbs. olive/peanut oil

(+ anything else you feel like tossing in.)

Here's what I do:

1. Check you blog for comments. There are none.

2. Go to FARK. See what's up.

3. Windows Vista crashes system.

4. Re-boot.

5. While you are waiting, open chicken stock and pour into medium-large saucepan. Set temperature at medium-high.

6. Shred bok choy/cabbage with knife, food processor, blender or fingers

7. Add to chicken stock with frozen vegetables. Turn temperature to medium and simmer.

8. Windows Vista is flashing an unrecognizable screen.

9. Re-reboot.

10. Heat oil in small frying pan (medium high heat) and put in chicken thighs skin down. Saute for 3 minutes a side then put aside to rest- 5 mins.

11. Add beans to stock/bok choy mix. Put in curry powder and hot sauce. Cover and simmer.

12. Your password has been corrupted. Email help desk.

13. Add chow mien noodles to stock/bean mixture. Cover and simmer for 5 minutes.

14. Help desk unavailable.

15. Slice chicken thighs into 1/4 inch strips. Add to stock.

16. Simmer 5 minutes.

17. Check computer. You're screwed.

18. Serve soup in large bowl with shot of soy sauce on top.

19. Turn on TV.

20. Watch Matlock.

See? Easy.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dear Caliban

Dear Caliban,

As a Woman of Gender, I can only support one candidate for the Democrat party nomination. To do otherwise would be to betray my birthright of suffering and oppression at the hands of the patriarchy. My candidate understands my yearnings, my angsts, my entitlements. I was talking to Deb the other day about this and she said that in the end the right answer is no less right for us regardless of who can grasp it. We were at the cutest little bistro and the waiter, though I'm sure he was gay, I swear he was coming on to me! No, really! I'm pretty sure he wasn't just angling for the tip. I mean, just between us, he could have given me the tip and the whole damn thing IF you know what I mean.


Gyn but Not Forgotten

PS- What do you think?

Dear Gyn,

Huh? What? Oh, yes dear. The pink one. Get the pink sweater.



Monday, March 24, 2008

Mutliculturalism explained, Canadian edition

Sweet Jesus on rye. Forgive me, for I have sinned. TOTALLY NSFW!11! Put down your liquids, hit the link in the title and BEHOLD. I need to go get somebody's dog to lick my scrotum so I can feel CLEAN again.

Wouldn't you simply DIE without Mullah?


The brave 'Militant' dirtbags who kidnapped the Austrian tourists in response to 'western cooperation with Israel' have extended their deadline in a 'show of generosity'.

This, of course, is '100% bullshit'.

I'll stop associating Islam with terror when the whackjobs stop associating terror with Islam.

One of the best explanations for 'Islamic resistance' I've ever read was delivered by Dr. Tawfik Hamid during a recent speech at Pepperdine University.

He calls bullshit too.

Click on the headline for the link.

h/t: The Big Picture

Dear Caliban

Dear Caliban,

My preferred candidate for Democrat presidential nominee keeps stepping on HIS (racially neutral, non-gender-specific) dick in various speeches.

Question: What am I to make of this? Is HIS divinty somehow compromised?


Swooning in St. Louis

Dear Swoon,

Worry not.

Your candidate is merely a complete greenhorn with no real understanding of the federal executive nomination process. Unlike other experienced candidates, he spends no money on focus groups to test his ideas with the electorate, relying instead on a leg-thrilled media to get his message out.

If the response is negative, he quickly changes the message to suit the response. His grandmother may not have taught him 'this', but, as he apparently plans to do with typical white people everywhere, he has learned her 'it'.



Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Great News- inflation holds steady*

(*adjusted for inflation) core inflation rate (currently 2.4%) is calculated without including categories subject to frequent fluctuations, like fuel and food. Since March of 2005 the price of oil has gone up 90%, real estate has gone up an average of about 35% (I know, it's sliding NOW), the price of wheat has tripled in the past year and flour has doubled in the last couple of months. So, as long as you don't need to eat, move about or live someplace, you're laughing, right?


That explains everything

Any of my ex-wives could have told them this.

h/t Hot Air