Dear Caliban

Dear Caliban,

As a conservative Republican, I'm in a quandary. The guy that will probably get the GOP nomination is an insufferable cranky old prick who's so far away from me on most of the issues I really care about that it makes me want to pull my curly hair out by the roots, then move up and pull out the hair on my head.

I can't stand the idea of not voting, but I also can't stand the idea of voting for him. I'm thinking of doing something I've never done before and sitting out.

WTF?

Livid in Louisville


Dear Livid,

I TOTALLY hear where you're coming from. Remember this though: who is your enemy?

In a general election, it can suck that your candidate is a 4 out of 10. But if his opponents are a 2 or even a 1 out of 10 and you don't vote, you vote for them. There are currently about 20 people running for president including Ralph Nader (Ind.) and Cynthia McKinney (Greens- remember her?) and they all get votes, at least from the family members that are still speaking to them.

Like I said, it sucks. BUT-you have to ask yourself what the candidates bring to the dance. IF Obama or Clinton win, you'll get buried in red tape from an expanding bureaucracy as you pay the freight for people who don't feel like working.

Fact: The border will be bad no matter who wins. This is an election about least expectations and that sucks but that's where it is.

You can take this to the bank: Iran is working on getting the Bomb. With the Bush presidency winding down (and for all its faults, he at least scared the fuckers) who will stand up to them? This may be the only relevant long-term question. Protecting the border won't mean Jack if you let Iran get a toehold in, oh, say Venezuela or Nicaragua with their Al-sahab missiles and some heat on the end of them.

If Obama or Clinton win, they will abandon Iraq leaving a gaping hole in US security as they focus on domestic entitlements, leaving the Islamic nutjobs to roam free, re-establish bases in the Middle East, and attack America at home yet again.

How many more people will die? A discovery of uranium in Colombia recently does not bode well for the future.

Obama and Hillary will give you entitlements you might not live to collect. McCain will keep you alive. You can argue with him till the ends of the earth about other things after that, but you have to be breathing to do it. He, at least, gives you your best shot at that, as piss-poor a choice as it is.

It sucks, but McCain will crawl over broken glass to keep Americans at home and abroad alive. I wish you had a better choice, but there it is.

To paraphrase Churchill:

John McCain is the worst candidate for US president in the world, except for all the others.

Kisses,

Caliban